Lily: James, we’re out of candy.
James: What? Already? There’s only been like three kids.
Lily: I know, but one little girl told me she loved me so I just gave her everything.
Sirius: No wonder you’re pregnant.
Sirius: Professor, did you know that the human brain doesn’t fully develop until we’re 25?
Mcgongall: I am made painfully aware of that on a daily basis.
Where exactly the Hogwarts Express came from has never been conclusively proven, although it is a fact that there are secret records at the Ministry of Magic detailing a mass operation involving one hundred and sixty-seven Memory Charms and the largest ever mass Concealment Charm performed in Britain. The morning after these alleged crimes, a gleaming scarlet steam engine and carriages astounded the villagers of Hogsmeade (who had also not realised they had a railway station), while several bemused Muggle railway workers down in Crewe spent the rest of the year grappling with the uncomfortable feeling that they had mislaid something important.
But we’re not stupid – we know we’re called Forge and Gred.
Sirius: Yeah, we’re best friends, but I would fuck you if you asked.
Remus, blushing: What?
Sirius, blushing: What?
James, eating chips in the background: You said you would fuck him if he asked.
I love that Lucius Malfoy has a long ponytail because that means he had to grow his hair out and that means that there are photographs somewhere memorializing the time Lucius Malfoy had an awkward bob
Hey guys, so unfortunately I have broken and fractured my elbow in two different places.
Both myself and my family are unable to cover the cost of surgery and the other hospital bills.
I wouldn’t ask this unless it was absolutely necessary, but I need help. If anyone has anything to spare (from .5 to $5 to $500) I would be so grateful.
I am at a loss of what to do in this situation, I don’t know where this money will come from.
Thank you all for your continual support and good vibes that have been sent.
DoraTheMetamorphmagus 