asktheboywholived:

gentlect:

((OOC: I am so glad you asked, this has been on my mind a TON.

Molly is a textbook meddler. I imagine she spends a lot of time hovering by the door with a cup of tea, going “It sounds like things are serious in there, I’m just waiting here till it’s died down a bit and then I’m going to give them this tea, see, which is my reason for standing here like this right now.”

Which is sometimes cute, in a sort of As Time Goes By sort of way:

Just constantly breezing into rooms, demanding answers.

But it can also be real tiring. And sometimes you just want to tell her to butt out, as a lot of people do in the case of her meddling in Remus and Tonks’s relationship.

But here’s the thing. She meddled, she undeniably meddled, and I think she meddled harder than anyone else. My theory is that she took it more to heart, quite possibly because, as we see in the books, Tonks appears to have been talking to her about the situation, going round for tea and a bit of a moan type of thing. So Molly is a bit pushier than is maybe polite, like when she loudly mentions to Remus that Tonks is spending Christmas alone, and seems to insinuate that this is Remus’s fault.

But I’ve just re-read Half-Blood Prince, and know what I’ve realized?

MOLLY WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE MEDDLING.

The scene where Bill is in the hospital post-Fenrir attack. Everyone around the bed. Molly mentions that the wedding may need to be cancelled, Fleur goes “BITCH? THE FUCK NOT!” They realize that they have both been ridiculous in the name of loving Bill, and they hug it out. Perfect. And then Tonks turns to Remus, and she basically goes, “WELL, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT. HE GOT ALL BITTEN UP. SHE DON’T SEEM TO MIND, NOW, DO SHE?” And Remus goes, “GIRL, THIS IS A WILDLY DIFFERENT SITUATION TO THAT, NOW, INNIT?!” And then, look what happens:

“And I’ve told you a million times,” said Lupin, refusing to meet her eyes, staring at the floor, “that I am too old for you, too poor… too dangerous…”

“I’ve said all along you’re taking a ridiculous line on this, Remus,” said Mrs Weasley over Fleur’s shoulder as she patted her on the back.

“I am not being ridiculous,” said Lupin steadily. “Tonks deserves somebody young and whole.”

“But she wants you,” said Mr Weasley, with a small smile. “And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so.”

He gestured sadly at his son, lying between them.

“This is… not the moment to discuss it,” said Lupin, avoiding everybody’s eyes as he looked around distractedly. “Dumbledore is dead…”

“Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world,” said Professor McGonagall curtly, just as the hospital doors opened again and Hagrid walked in.

Y’ALL. EVEN OUR MAIN BABE MINNIE G CHIMED IN THERE.

Know what this says to me? It says to me that the ENTIRETY OF THE ORDER has been watching this whole thing going down, thinking, “Remus, you unbelievable prat, we get that you’re damaged, we respect that. But also, like, this girl is in love with you, and your only arguments seem to be, ‘I AM NOT TRULY WHAT SHE WANTS! I am sCARY MONSTER! I am undeserving of the pretty and whole!’, and frankly, it’s getting boring, love.”

So then, if this is the case, if the Order is SO INVOLVED IN THIS that even McGonagall has an opinion at the ready, why haven’t we seen more of it?

Because the books are written from the perspective of one Harry James Potter, a 16 year old boy with a crush of his own, a Dumbledore with a fucked up hand, and the weight of the entire world resting on his scrawny shoulders. Who has been in school. Away from EVERYTHING.

Do you think he maybe wasn’t paying the closest attention to this situation?

Do you think the kid who saw Tonks a total of three times that year, who thought that she was in love with Sirius, maybe missed a couple things?

So pretty much, this means that we get to cobble together what happened in the Order ourselves. And that is a personal journey for all of us. You get to decide what happens in the rest of the world of the books when Harry isn’t presently in the middle of it. Here’s what I think, though.

Tonks and Remus have been working together in close proximity for a while. It is clear that they have chemistry, and they’ve been enjoying each other’s company. It’s also clear that Remus has been getting little frowny lines, and then running off on dangerous missions, leaving Tonks behind, stressed and sad. Tonks goes to Molly, because of the Order members, Molly is the only female in a happy, fulfilling relationship, and also because she is a complete mom. She vents. Molly listens. And when Remus is back in the area, maybe he says a couple things to Arthur that has Arthur frowning and concerned. Arthur and Molly talk. And they aren’t the only ones talking about it. Kingsley Shacklebolt has a betting pool going. Mundugus has already set up buyers for all the cutlery he plans to steal at the wedding. But time keeps passing, nothing continues to happen, both Remus and Tonks are noticeably sadder, and the entire Order is just staring at them. And Molly occasionally walks behind Remus’s chair, bellowing, “WHY, TONKS! YOU LOOK SO UNBELIEVABLY PRETTY TODAY! WHAT A CHARMING HAIRSTYLE, DON’T YOU THINK, REMUS!?” while the rest of the Order swivels around to see what will happen. 

This is what I think happened. You may have a different idea. Both our ideas are true and valid and can never be proven wrong, unless JK comes out with a multi-film franchise about the inner workings of the Order, which, you know, I wouldn’t put it past her. Be that as it may, though, the evidence in the books is as follows:

Molly meddles in the relationship. As do multiple other members of the Order.

Is that annoying and not their job?

Yeah!

Is it annoying that they feel the need to meddle because fOR FUCKS SAKE REMUS, JUST TAKE HER OUT FOR A CUP OF COFFEE OR SOMETHING.

Yeah!

So what’s my point?

Molly was not the only one intruding in their relationship. That doesn’t mean that we should be more accepting of the fact that she overstepped the boundaries, but it does maybe mean that we should stop getting angry at her exclusively for sticking her nose in. It wasn’t all her, guys. Stop pinning it all on her.))

(( OOC: Elaborating on one of the points made, when someone you care about is throwing themselves into life or death situations, just because they can’t wrap their mind around the fact that there’s someone out there who loves them exactly the way they are, and doesn’t want them to change, doesn’t want them to be something they’re not… then maybe you’d get a little fed up too. Maybe you’d take actions to attempt to stop the goddam madness. 

Remus doesn’t throw himself into dangerous situations because he’s trying to get away from Tonks… he throws himself in harms way because he’s trying to remove himself from the equation… FOR Tonks. Remus loathes himself, and so the life he pictures with Tonks is being seen through that warped lense. He loves her so much he’s willing to do anything for her… including keep her safe… which means he can’t have her. He can’t comprehend the fact that Tonks wants him… who would want someone so broken and monstrous? He thinks she’s lying… which is a disservice to her. 

So yes… everyone gets pushy, because when you see someone that you love hurting themselves for the WRONG REASONS… you’re going to try and step in. Maybe they didn’t do it in the right way, but they did it because they knew Remus, and they knew how stubborn and irrational he could be, and they didn’t want to see him get hurt. They wanted him to be happy. 

Remus made the decision to hurt himself, and Tonks was like-

Adding to the Remadora factor, everything we see is through Harry’s eyes. And unfortunately, the moments we see with Remus and Tonks aren’t very promising. But what we know in canon is that Remus loved her, and so even though the moments that are shown are Tonks being happy and Remus looking thoroughly stressed… keep in mind, they’re in a war and Remus hasn’t had time to go through a process of self-healing. He’s spent almost his entire life hating himself, and that’s not something easily altered. If Remus and Tonks has survived the war, and been able to settle down, I think Remus would have eventually been able to accept what she was telling him as truth and grown to be unbelievably happy. But the healing couldn’t happen while there was a war on. 

Honestly though, I’m just glad he had a few moments with her, even if he couldn’t get out of his head enough at the time to start the healing process. ))